


Great, Cool

by heartofthejunk



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Finnpoe - Freeform, Kinda, M/M, Post-War, Sad, Stormpilot, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 11:04:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13234338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartofthejunk/pseuds/heartofthejunk
Summary: Finn regretted the choices he had made then, but he knew it was the right thing to do for the both of them. He was glad Poe was where he wanted to be. He was glad that Poe had gotten what he’d always dreamed of. Poe got the fame and the recognition, not just by being a hotshot pilot, but by actually doing something meaningful. That was what Poe had always talked about, and now he was living it.But was it worth leaving what they had?[ a post-war fic base on the song great, cool by joey contreras ]





	Great, Cool

**Author's Note:**

> sorry this is so short but I really needed to get this out. hope you enjoy!

Finn woke up to a loud, annoying knocking on his door. He groaned and turned over, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. The knocking came again and he wanted to cover his head with a pillow to stifle the sound. He knew, however, that this would get him nowhere. He yelled, “Be there in a second!” and hoped that the person outside could hear him. It seemed they had because the knocking stopped. He quickly grabbed a shirt to throw on and went to his front door and looked out the peephole. No one was there, but there  _ was _ a folded up newspaper in front of his door. 

Curious, Finn opened the door and picked the paper up. He looked both ways up and down the hallway, hoping that maybe he would see the person who left the paper. There was no one in the hallway except him. He sighed and retreated to his apartment. He decided that now that he was awake, he would make some caf and deal with this.

A few minutes later, Finn took a long sip of caf from his mug and picked up the newspaper. He usually didn’t read the newspaper, so this was an odd occurrence for him. This was also odd because usually, anonymous strangers didn’t leave newspapers at his door. 

After taking a glance at the front page, he realized why someone had given this paper to him.

_ Poe Dameron, Best Pilot in the Galaxy, Develops Sustainable Fuel _ , the headline read.  _ Damned Rey, _ Finn thought. He’s sure that his best friend and now next-door neighbor was the one who left the paper at his doorstep. After all, she was always saying how Finn should just get his head out of his ass and get back in contact with Poe.

Finn hesitantly unfolded the paper. There’s a picture of Poe, who looks older than the last time Finn saw him, but of course he does because Finn hadn’t seen him in over two years. In the picture, Poe is smiling that wide, heroic smile of his, which Finn  _ still _ swears charges all the suns in the galaxy. He’s holding a certificate of some sort, maybe a grant or an award. Finn doesn’t read the article to find out. 

Poe looks so happy in this picture and Finn’s heart hurt just looking at it. He remembered that smile, the smile that reassured him that everything was alright, a smile that was sometimes reserved just for him. Finn smiled bittersweetly at the memories that he let flood his head for the first time in a long time. He then shed a tear because he remembered why he hadn’t allowed himself to think about those things. He sniffled and wiped the tear away.

He got up and walked over to his junk drawer to retrieve his scissors. He returned to the paper and carefully cut out the picture of Poe. He recycled the rest of the newspaper without a second thought. He took the picture to his bedroom and fished underneath his bed for a box. When he found it, he placed the cardboard shoe box on his bed and opened it up, not sure if he was ready to see what he had hidden inside.  

In the box were dozens upon dozens of photographs, among other things. Each picture was either of Finn and Poe together or just Poe. This box was a treasure trove of things left over from the past. The picture at the top of the box was a picture of Finn and Poe sitting on a couch back on some Resistance base Finn has forgotten the location of. Poe is grinning at Finn, a different smile from the one in the picture Finn has just cut from the newspaper. It was softer, in a way, more affectionate. It was a smile that was truly reserved for Finn and Finn only. Finn is laughing at something Poe has just said, probably a stupid joke. The two men’s hands are interlaced and resting on Poe’s thigh because they’re sitting so close together that there isn’t any room for them to put their hands on the couch. 

Finn’s tears were back and he realized he really wasn’t ready for a little trip down memory lane. That could wait for a later time. He put the new picture of Poe on top of the old pictures and put the top over the shoe box. He put the box back in its place underneath his bed so he could easily find it in case he wanted another look at what he and Poe once had. He knew it was cliche, but he kept the box to remember the good old days. 

Finn regretted the choices he had made then, but he knew it was the right thing to do for the both of them. He was glad Poe was where he wanted to be. He was glad that Poe had gotten what he’d always dreamed of. Poe got the fame and the recognition, not just by being a hotshot pilot, but by actually doing something meaningful. That was what Poe had always talked about, and now he was living it. 

But was it worth leaving what they had?

* * *

 

Poe saw Finn everywhere. 

Finn had become somewhat of a legend after he left the First Order and became one of the most prominent heroes on the Resistance’s side. His story was incredibly inspiring and different from any other Resistance fighter’s. Even after the war was over, Finn’s picture was used as propaganda for the Resistance, spread out all over the galaxy. Poe couldn’t go anywhere to escape him, even if he wanted to.

Poe knows that Finn never did anything to get the attention he received. He escaped the First Order because they treated him like a shit and he only came with Poe because he needed a pilot. He joined the Resistance because they went against the First Order, the system that had ruined most of Finn’s life. Finn did what he did because he didn’t want anyone else to suffer at the hand of the First Order like he did. Poe admires him for that.

Poe didn’t want to escape Finn. The photos of him reassured Poe that somewhere out there, Finn was there. He was alive and hopefully, he was well. Sometimes, Poe would think about where Finn was. He would imagine it, what Finn was doing, what he was thinking. He couldn’t bring himself to wonder who he was with. It was painful, but it was a way of coping. 

Poe wished Finn knew how much he missed him. He wished Finn knew that every time he saw another poster with Finn’s face on it, his heart ached. He wished Finn knew that even though Poe achieved what he wanted, he wasn’t happy. As he went on, Poe realized he kept getting lonelier. Time couldn’t heal all wounds because Poe’s wounds were still open after two of the longest years of his life.

Poe wished more than anything that things between him and Finn hadn’t ended the way they had. He wished that maybe, he would’ve opened his eyes and not let Finn go. He thought that this would be what was best for both of them, but he was  _ so _ wrong. He realized now that he let Finn go because he was afraid. He was afraid of feelings he didn’t completely understand. He was afraid of loving someone, the same way he had loved his parents, just to have them be taken away from him.

He was a fool. He should have tried harder with Finn. He should have told Finn how much he truly felt for him. He should have said what he wanted to instead of hiding behind a shield. He should have fought harder. He shouldn’t have let the best thing that had ever happened to him walk out of his life. He had a love that everyone strived for, and he let it go because he was scared. He was a  _ coward _ . He hated himself for it every day. 

None of that mattered now. Finn was probably happy with his life without Poe. Poe couldn’t bear the thought of ruining that by reconnecting with Finn for his own selfish reasons. 

Maybe they just weren’t destined to last.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I can't write sadness that well,, this was just for practice
> 
> Come scream about the space boyfriends on my tumblr ( heartofthejunk ) or my instagram ( heartofthejunk )


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